I’m kind of writing this all on a whim, but hey, I make my best decisions on a whim. Last week, I was reading someone’s old blog from high school and it reminded me of the old fashion blog I had. I created it, because all of the plus size bloggers I followed were adults, and therefore dressed like adults. I saw a need for a plus size teenage blogger that put outfits together for, well, a teenager. So, I made it. Despite me not being consistent, and not having the best picture quality (everything was done from my galaxy phone), it got pretty popular. People at school read it, I was getting pretty popular on Tumblr (enough to fill my 15-year-old heart) and I am pretty sure that if I didn’t delete it, I would have a successful blogging career today.
Seeing my old carefree self made me do some reflection, which is chronicled in my twitter thread. Where is this girl and why did she leave? Instead of mourning my 15-year-old self, I realized that I was still this girl, and went to work. Fashion blogger Rebecca did not care about SEO, oversaturation, analytics, follower engagement and whatever other measurements rule the blogging world. To her, it was all about speaking whatever was on her mind. She would put on cute outfits, take pictures, and write about what she wore and how she felt. She did not care how it made anyone feel either. I had this attitude about everything else in my life. As I climbed through my Tumblr feed for remnants of my blog, my old posts revealed to me that I was doing that in all other areas of my life. I was yearbook editor, the new National Honor Society President, and just coming into my identity as a Black girl. I believed in myself from the start and had no doubts that I was great.
Since then, I’ve had some hits that have brought me down a few notches, but the girl that was bright- eyed and ready to take over the world is back. I am she, and she is me.